Indra1408 on DeviantArthttps://www.deviantart.com/indra1408/art/Swans-of-the-tide-672123346Indra1408

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Swans of the tide

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Published:
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Description

Ok gave up on this one after I smuged up the eyes wonderful sigh I did write a poem with this put as was over critical of it and trashed it here is what I recall from that

Over large and angry waves where white clouds the color of swan dawn watch knowingly and the young boy walks on dreaming where no boy ought to be
On the stormy crashing sea where white tip waves come seeking shore the swans wade upon the tides where no swan ought to be
mother is to busy much to busy oh to see those graceful lovely creatures who come upon the tide so little boys most wonder to come and see the tide
here they come upon the sea necks reach out in greeting to find a face with such grace would mean the lose of coming dusk where no swans ought to be.

So yeah not really great but you know the first one was a bit better oh well.
Image size
2048x1152px 975.97 KB
Make
samsung
Model
SM-N910P
Shutter Speed
1/20 second
Aperture
F/2.2
Focal Length
5 mm
ISO Speed
320
Date Taken
Feb 24, 2017, 3:21:57 PM
© 2017 - 2024 Indra1408
Comments10
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ado-mi's avatar
Hello there again! An amazing piece from you I see! If it makes you feel any better, I could actually tell this was yours before I looked at the username so I can say you've found your own style my friend :)

Okay I'm trying this new style of commenting so it's more organized ack I'm going to hope it works.

:bulletgreen: Positive :
Wonderful technique as always! I really do love the colour pencil work here and did you add water to it too? If so, I like how you put it on the water and on the sand I think. It really makes the drawing appear smooth and nice to look at. I also love the colours you added here, especially in the water with the yellow and purple colours. The yellow makes the water look transparent, which is true and the purple makes a lovely contrast with the yellow. The red rocks are also really nice and I like how you went with a smooth looking rock even if rocks near the ocean aren't that smooth. The concept is also really nice; I loved the idea of the boy with the swans even if swans don't stay in the ocean. I think that's jewelry I see on them? That would make a pretty interesting concept. 

:bulletred: Points for Improvement :
I really do love this piece and because I do, I'll give some tough love (?) haha but anyway...  First of all, I think the piece is too crowded  and it might've been better if you chose to concentrate on the boy with the swans. The person lying down on a mat in the background and the rock behind it make it look a bit too complicated and distracting from the boy in the foreground. Speaking of foreground, let's talk about planes something even I'm trying to wrap my head around. When drawing a piece with multiple planes, you have to take note that those in the foreground have more detail and bolder lines compared to those in the background but in your piece, there are bold lines in the background (especially near the waves) which destroy the "perception" of the piece. Maybe next time, you could try applying thinner lines to the back or choose not to put too much lines at all. Now you got positives when it comes to colors but there are also some other things that could use improvement. For one, I was wondering why you chose a dark purple for the sky. Does that mean it's a bad day? If so, why is someone sunbathing at the back... or is she using her laptop it's not very clear from here. Actually, now that I think about it, the swans could've been thieved who came back from a storm to be welcomed by the boy and the person at the back who have been waiting for the swans to come... I'm sorry I don't know what I'm talking about haha but the story is quite messed up from my perspective. Also, I was wondering why you chose black and white stripes for the boy. I just got the impression that he just got out of prison or something.. also it reminded me of "The Boy in Stripped Pajamas."

In the end, I still really like this piece and it has a lot of potential to become something greater !

I really hope what I've said will be able to help you and if you have any questions, I'd love to answer!

-ProjectComment